I've made it.

I now have a desk which allows my monitor to be facing away from anyone walking in - in the past, anyone could walk in to my office, sneak up behind me, and see what was on my screen (porn).

Truly, I am now master of my domain. I have reached the top tier of IT.

Sins of the Thinly-Stretched-IT-Budget

This is our file server, running live;

CABLE HELL

HEY GUYS I THINK I KNOW WHY THE RAID KEEPS DYING

If there's a circle in Dante's Hell for enabling bad IT, we're going there.

Déjà vu

Back in September, I made a teaser post - linked here - but then things happened and I never got around to explaining what it was all about.

Now, the same thing is happening again, so I might as well explain it.

Basically, there's not enough cash to pay everyone, and as an external contractor, PonyGirl gets the shaft. Any money we get goes towards paying wages, and what's left is divided among all kinds of business shit I don't really know about (and neither does the BigBoss, apparently). PonyGirl is now owed a fuckload of money - this has happened before (in September, and before that as well), but this time everyone can see that there's no real comeback from the position we're in.

(Normally I try not to post about financial stuff, but the end is near).

PonyGirl has done the right thing for his business and his family and has quit. Sort of. While he's asked me to change his passwords and disable his access, he's still trying to find a solution to the problem (read: get his god damn money). Thus, all of our IT now falls onto me, with iOrgasm as my manager - of course, I'm not getting paid any extra yet.

Maybe this blog should shift from comedy to tragedy.

GARGLE YOUR BLOOD, CONSUME YOUR FLESH, YOU HAVE CHOSEN THIS MISERY FOR YOURSELF

So, against all better judgement, I'm back for another year at Hogwarts my hellhole. Even after 2 days, I can see that this year is going to be even more of a punishment than last year; the planned office move from last year still has no planning, but apparently we move tomorrow. Our poor staff are stuck on wireless 3G modems and mobile phones to conduct business.

I'm hoping that the Mayans were right with 2012. Fear not though, there will be plently of horror tales in the coming year!

Oh, and I've been told to ditch our backup software. Apparently CTRL+C, CTRL+V is all anyone needs.

Merry god-damn Christmas

Today's wonderful, giving co-worker is IrishBritishScottishGuy, aka IBSG; I can't remember his nationality, but it's somewhere in the UK. He's been here longer than me, but rarely has dumb computer problems - he knows enough to fix little issues, and knows when he's out of his league.

So he decided to give me something else.

---

IBSG: "I've run out of HDD space! It's not porn, I promise!" *why do people always say this??*
Me: "Er...right." *checks, is actually Offline Files going spastic, fix and free space*
IBSG: "Fantastic! Also, wash your hands."
Me: "?!?!"
IBSG: "I've got gastro. It's bad."

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SHARING IS CARING, FOLKS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS >:|

DO YOU NEED A LICENSE!?

You don't "drive" a computer, you dipshit.

One click for links, two clicks for icons. It's not that hard, is it?!

A single tear, each time.

l33t h4x0r

Today's fucking retard (yup, it's a bad day) is SleazyAlcoholic. SleazyAlcoholic is our new national sales manager, who has moved from the Perth office, in possibly the greatest example of failing upwards ever. Constantly late, red-eyed and reeking of booze, he is possibly the most hated male in the office - he just oozes pure sleaze. His constant bullshit speeches of "saving the company" do not help either.

With the new call centre in place (yup, it was his idea to bring it back!), there's been a whole range of new technical issues to work - this in itself isn't too bad (it's semi-interesting playing with VoIP stuff), but as expected, the human element of it is soul-crushing.

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SleazyAlcoholic: "HEY!"
Me: ".....................yes?"
SleazyAlcoholic: "Can you hack?"
Me: ".....................why?" *internally - are you fucking retarded? Or just a dodgy fuck? Why do I get asked this all the time?!*
SleazyAlcoholic: "I need to use RandomCoworker's laptop, but it's the login screen."
Me: ".....................so log in as you."
SleazyAlcoholic: ".....................oh yea." 

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TIME TO FUCKING GO ONE-WINGED-ANGEL ON THESE FUCKING RETARDS