Of course, my company isn't the only place where people are stupid. After some server changes, we had to add some info to our DNS records, handled by iiNet - and since PonyGirl loves me suffering, I was the lucky person to call up their support line.
---
*ringring*
iiNet: "Welcome to iiNet support!"
Me: "Hi, I need to add an A record to our DNS records." (non-geeks: google it!)
iiNet: "Sure, let me transfer you to our domain specialists."
Me: "Thanks!"
*Horrible abc soft jazz hold music*
DomainSpecialist: "Welcome to iiNet domains, how can I help?"
Me: "I need to add an A record to our DNS records."
DomainSpecialist: "Sorry, we don't do DNS, we only do domains."
Me: "......huh?"
DomainSpecialist: "If you need to edit your domain, you need to talk to your IT department. Do you have a server?"
Me: "......You guys manage our DNS records."
DomainSpecialist: "No, we only do domains, DNS is handled by your local network, do you have a server? Any IT administrators?"
Me: "...."
---
"Specialist" just means you're "special". The D in DNS must stand for...um...I can't think of anything funny, it was a bad day :\
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Slash Slash Slash
So with the new Perth server up and running (and no-one able to actually TOUCH it this time), things are actually kind of in a good place. There's a few little issues here and there, of course, and this popped up today.
---
BigBoss: "I've lost my network drive!"
Me: "Oh ok, you weren't in the office when we did the swapover, no big deal. Click on Tools -> Map Network Drive etcetc."
BigBoss: "What's the computer name?"
Me: "\\Bird\Data"
BigBoss: "So, www\\"
Me: "Nono, no www, just two backslashes, the word bird, another backslash, then the word data."
BigBoss: "Word? What's Office got to do with this?"
Me: "Er, what? No, nothing. It's double backslash, bird, another backslash, data."
BigBoss: *tries* "......not working."
Me: "Does it give an error message?
BigBoss: "Cannot find server \\\birddata."
Me: "Just two backslashes at the start, and a bac-"
BigBoss: "You said another backslash!"
Me: "I...just...ok sorry, please write this; double backslash bird backslash data."
BigBoss: *tries again* " ......not working again!"
Me: "What's the error message?"
BigBoss: "Cannot find server \\ bird \ data"
Me: "......no spaces."
---
BigBoss: "I've lost my network drive!"
Me: "Oh ok, you weren't in the office when we did the swapover, no big deal. Click on Tools -> Map Network Drive etcetc."
BigBoss: "What's the computer name?"
Me: "\\Bird\Data"
BigBoss: "So, www\\"
Me: "Nono, no www, just two backslashes, the word bird, another backslash, then the word data."
BigBoss: "Word? What's Office got to do with this?"
Me: "Er, what? No, nothing. It's double backslash, bird, another backslash, data."
BigBoss: *tries* "......not working."
Me: "Does it give an error message?
BigBoss: "Cannot find server \\\birddata."
Me: "Just two backslashes at the start, and a bac-"
BigBoss: "You said another backslash!"
Me: "I...just...ok sorry, please write this; double backslash bird backslash data."
BigBoss: *tries again* " ......not working again!"
Me: "What's the error message?"
BigBoss: "Cannot find server \\ bird \ data"
Me: "......no spaces."
BigBoss: "Why didn't you say so?!"
---
YES, WHY DIDN'T I SAY TO NOT PUT INCORRECT INFORMATION IN, YOU DUMB FUCK?!
---
YES, WHY DIDN'T I SAY TO NOT PUT INCORRECT INFORMATION IN, YOU DUMB FUCK?!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Sometimes....
...the users give back.
MANLY TEARS OF JOY
 |
| Yes, that's 5 1/4" inches of floppy, black love. |
 |
| If you can't read, it's ST-Budget, Disk 2 of 2. The Front cover is Galactix 2 of 2. |
MANLY TEARS OF JOY
Friday, July 1, 2011
Irish Eyes Are Crying.
Another day, another case of fraud. Today, there's two!
The IrishChick in the Perth office - who I've never met in person, but have helped on the phone a few times - has been let go due to defrauding the company. Apparently she wasn't showing up at her sales meets, but was telling us she was. Again, my mad hacking skills (they're not) were called into play, and e-mail timestamps revealed everything. Silly girl!
The bigger story, however, is that a lot of sales (6 figures) have fallen through due to the customer "changing their mind". Of course, after the whole ChocolateStarfish fiasco, alarms bells were ringing - we've heard this song before! So, my awesome skills (seriously, its not hard) were summoned again, but this time, there were no incriminating emails - they must be learning!
After some more fishing around, we made the educated guess that our customers were getting a better deal from a rival company/installer - there was no other explantion that could fit the sales figures dropping so fast. We'd figured that someone (probably a disgruntled employee or rogue sales agent) is viewing our quotes and undercutting us - this kind of thing had happened before (~3 years ago), with a new employee starting at any of our offices, getting access to our database, doing some copy/pasting, then quitting. Obviously, this was just bad IT policy, so we had strengthed our contracts to deter people against this, restricted access for new people, etc. Still, something was very wrong, so I had to double check logs, logins, access times, etcetc. to see if anything bad was going down.
After about 2-3 days of checking and finding nothing, the truth comes out. Our sales manager had lied about the installs done this month, to inflate his sales figures. There was no foul play or dodgyness, just ego.
I want to cry myself to sleep.
The IrishChick in the Perth office - who I've never met in person, but have helped on the phone a few times - has been let go due to defrauding the company. Apparently she wasn't showing up at her sales meets, but was telling us she was. Again, my mad hacking skills (they're not) were called into play, and e-mail timestamps revealed everything. Silly girl!
The bigger story, however, is that a lot of sales (6 figures) have fallen through due to the customer "changing their mind". Of course, after the whole ChocolateStarfish fiasco, alarms bells were ringing - we've heard this song before! So, my awesome skills (seriously, its not hard) were summoned again, but this time, there were no incriminating emails - they must be learning!
After some more fishing around, we made the educated guess that our customers were getting a better deal from a rival company/installer - there was no other explantion that could fit the sales figures dropping so fast. We'd figured that someone (probably a disgruntled employee or rogue sales agent) is viewing our quotes and undercutting us - this kind of thing had happened before (~3 years ago), with a new employee starting at any of our offices, getting access to our database, doing some copy/pasting, then quitting. Obviously, this was just bad IT policy, so we had strengthed our contracts to deter people against this, restricted access for new people, etc. Still, something was very wrong, so I had to double check logs, logins, access times, etcetc. to see if anything bad was going down.
After about 2-3 days of checking and finding nothing, the truth comes out. Our sales manager had lied about the installs done this month, to inflate his sales figures. There was no foul play or dodgyness, just ego.
I want to cry myself to sleep.
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