Stain my soul.

Call Centres truly are the bane of my soul. How can something that seems so awesome in theory, be so terrible in practice? 

With the company going through it's ups and downs, the BigBoss has decided to get involved from interstate. This saga takes place over a few days; our company has never been really know for speed (unless it's a bad decision, then woo!).

---

BigBoss: "The Perth office wants a call center. We have some spare GSM phones left over from the last call centre in Vic, yes?"
Me: "Yes, they're all spare, and still active."
BigBoss: "Good, send them over!"
Me: "Er...these are GSM landline phones, they need special hardware to work on a telep-"
BigBoss: "SEND! CALL CENTRE IS UP IN 3 DAYS!!"
*I head over to the other office to take some phones*

LetsDoCokeMan: "HI MAN HOW ARE YOU I'M FUCKING EXCITED ARE YOU READY TO MAKE MONEY?!"
Me: "Hi. I'm here to take some of your old un-needed phones, and the required hardware. I'm 0% sure what this will do to your existing phones." 
LetsDoCokeMan: "THATS COOL TAKE THEM I'M HIGH ON COKE" (ok, he didn't really say that, but jesus its the only explanation)


*Disconnect 1 GSM box, phone network fails*


LetsDoCokeMan: "OH SHITS LOLOLOL WE'RE DEAD!!!"
Me: "Sigh, sorry, I'll reconnect and tell BigBoss that he's going to have to spend money after all."
LetsDoCokeMan: "AWESOME LOL WE'RE GOING TO MAKE MONEY HERE HAVE A JELLYBEAN AND SOME FUCKING HEROIN BRO"


*I e-mail BigBoss, tell him he has to spend money to get this to work, considered it closed on my end*
*2 days pass*
*ring ring*


BigBoss: "Where's my phones, I have a call centre to run!" (this entire conversation is at, LITERALLY, 200% volume, he is shouting hard)

Me: (placing phone about 1m away from ear): "You didn't get my e-mail? We can't partially dismantle this GSM network without killing the call centre here."
BigBoss: "WELL FUCK THAT, JUST SEND THE FUCKING PHONES!"
Me: "Does Perth have a GSM capable phone network?"
BigBoss: "A fucking what? They're just phones!! I thought you IT guys could handle it, its networked yea?!?!"
Me: "YOU ARE RAPING MY FUCKING SOUL YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT" 

---


Ok, I didn't really say that last part, but I felt it.

Golf is for sissies, seriously.

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU PONYGIRL

---

*yesterday*

PonyGirl: "You've gotta come in at 7am tomorrow, we have server hardware upgrades to do! Gonna be busy, gotta do it all before people come in at 9!"
Me: "Yay, overtime money!"  *thinking* oh god gonna seizure with hard drive in hand and poop my pants, happy days, totally not worth the money

*bright and early, 7am, ready to fucking kill anyone who smiles at me*
*cue hours of work, complete with fuckups, oh god why isn't this server isn't booting, oh god why, oh god this one too, oops cable fell out*
*finish at 8:55am, just as people get in*

PonyGirl: "Whew, that was close!"
Me: "Yup, just in time!"
PonyGirl: "Got that right, I gotta leave right now or I miss out on my golf round!"
Me: "...........I hate you."

---

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

I'm going to try!

WORST. WEEK. EVER

Walk in, sit down, check servers, "Hey, what's up with remote deskto-"

BAM!

Raid controller failure -_-

I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN EYES

Happy God Damn New Year.

Today's my first back after the New Year break (Happy 2011, etcetc). I haven't been contacted over the break (I was interstate, visiting family), so either the office is fine, the office is wiped off the face of the Earth, or people are just waiting for me to come back and inflict misery upon me.

Option 3 is nearly always the winner.

---

OldOfficeLady: "Hey! We can't get into finance server! Oh yea, welcome back." 

Me: "Um, yea, hi, what's wron-"
FrazzledMum: "Hey! Phones are down! Nice haircut!"
Me: "Oh? Phones really aren't my area-"

*mobile rings*

CapsLockGirl: "Hey! Can't get into remote desktop! I heard you got attacked by a lawnmower!"
Me: "How the f-....ok, I'll call you back."

Turns out the new UPS installed over the holidays by PonyGirl couldn't handle those 3 systems. Research?  Testing? Pfft, that's for professionals! 

--- 

Epilogue

The remote desktop server cooked itself later that day :(