Printer Fight!

So the new call centre, run by the LetsDoCokeMan, is going full steam ahead. They're reopened an old office, got the furniture in, and are running interviews for new Call Centre Crew members even now (hopefully they won't smell like the old ones). Alas, they don't have a printer - and that means IT is to blame!

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LetsDoCokeMan: "We need a printer!"
Me: "Ok.....what are you requirements?"
LetsDoCokeMan: "Cheap as shit, and we'll be printing a LOT. Also, fax and scanning."
Me: "That won't be cheap."
LetsDoCokeMan: "Well, fuck it then, we'll take the BizHub printer downstairs" (a very awesome commerical printer)
OldOfficeLady: "Hahahaha...no. Not a chance."
Me: "Don't take it, you'll have a riot."
LetsDoCokeMan: "Ok ok, I'll get the General Manager to spend some money."

*comes back one day later*

GeneralManager: "Ok, they can have <HP model>, it's got scanning and fax. I saw it on the intrawebs!"
Me/PonyGirl/iOrgasm: "...It's an inkjet." (tears are already forming in our eyes)
GeneralManager: "So?"
Me: "It's going to break. And running costs won't be cheap!"
GeneralManager: "Shrug, office will only be open for 3 months!"

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Who needs long term solutions?!
Also, never mess with a shared office printer, unless you want to be the office pariah.

Scaremongering.

KABOOM! Sydney office (+ surrounding block) loses power due to a rather large thunderstorm.

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iOrgasm: *walking into my office* "I heard that the Sydney office is offline?"
Me: "Er...*checks*...yes! But server is still up, UPS has kicked in, so all is fine."
iOrgasm: "What would happen if no UPS?"
Me: "We'd probably lose our jobs for being retards, but um...probably nothing. Maybe some small data loss."
iOrgasm: "Worst case scenario?"
Me: "Um...there's a power spike, power supply blows up, takes server with it, all the day's work is lost, lots of money spent on new server, lots of hours spend on rebuilding OS, restoring from backup, etcetc"
iOrgasm: "Cool. Put that in an e-mail, and send it to me. I need to scare the BigBoss"
Me: "But...the UPS worked perfectly. I didn't even know that Sydney was offline."
iOrgasm: "Do it!"

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If I ever get into management, I wonder, will I become this kind of person? Is this the kind of game that has to be played to survive?

Love and Hate.

She is the Alpha and the Omega.
The Beginning and the End.

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CapsLockGirl: "My keyboard doesn't work, I'm doing data entry, its just not working, where can I...nope not working, sigh." (she's quite busy, and getting flustered)
Me: "It's ok, just swap the batteries out."
CapsLockGirl: "Grr, where's the caps lock key again?" 
Me: "........................................next to the A key, remember?" (it was a long, awkward silence).
CapsLockGirl: "Sigh ok I'm just gonna restart I'll call you back." *click*

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>_<

No, seriously, don't touch it.

Our Perth office is run by the BigBoss - the company owner, and through whom all the big decisions go through. Unfortunately, he has a dim view of IT - he believes it can be run by a 15 year old, and that spending money on it is a waste of time. To this end, the Perth office is rather backward in it's IT implementation, while every other state at least tries to stay ahead of the curve.

From an IT support perspective, this makes my life hell.

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RandomDude55: "We can't see the printer!"
Me: "Ok...you guys don't really have that good an infrastructure, and you never want to spend any money or tell us whats going on...so it's hard for us to support...but hey, I'll give it a shot." (I'm feeling snarky)
RandomDude55: "What? Just fix it!"
Me: "Is it plugged in? Did you move the cables?"
RandomDude55: "Yup, plugged in, BigBoss brought and installed a new router." (A vein pops in my head)

*90 minutes later of horrible remote support, IP changing, configuring router, etc*

RandomDude55: "Still can't see it!"
Me: "...are you SURE it's plugged in? Double check for me."
RandomDude55: "....................oho!"

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IT Support will always be self-sustaining.

Alas, boobs, I knew ye well.

When you live so much of your life on the intrawebs, it's something quite jarring to experience it outside of it at the workplace.

Today's HotChick is one of the quieter ones in the office, but still pretty awesome. Also, a great rack - these are important details! She's leaving the company in a few weeks, so she's got quite the mischievous streak at the moment.

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HotChick: "So I found out what Rickrolling is! Why don't you rickroll <co-worker's> machine?"
Me: "Hohoho that'd be funny!...please don't try it, you'll get a virus."
HotChick: "Aww, ok."

*After she had gone home that night*

Me: "Ok...set wallpaper to Rick Astley, set login sound to Never Gonna Give You Up...success!"

*Next morning*

HotChick: "OMG! I heard rickroll when I logged in!...but who's the guy in my wallpaper?"
Me: "....that's Rick Astley."
HotChick: "Huh? Who?"

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Set it so user cannot change wallpaper. Ever.