Today's entry has a new face - the HumanBlob. HumanBlob, while a fairly big guy, isn't a living ooze or anything like that; in fact, this nickname was bestowed upon him by one of co-workers. The HumanBlob tends to leave his work area (and surrounding areas which aren't exactly his) in a rather messy state, but apart from that (and his swearing, he's a Queenslander!), he gets along with other people.
Now that he's started, and we're getting other people newer stuff, our laptop supply is running lower and lower. It's starting to get nasty, with people lying about things, betraying each other, and general asshole-ness.
There's other new faces involved, but I'll talk about them later. This shit should be in a Wagnerian Opera.
---
CapsLockGirl: "We need spare laptops! We have new people starting soon, and we have no spare computers! If something dies, we're screwed!" (everything is a potential drama to her).
Me: "Ok...wait, don't you have one? My register show that-"
CapsLockGirl: "Yea, but we're training a guy on it"
Me: "Oh...er...ok...we'll send one up!"
CapsLockGirl: "Yay! you may sample my vagina" (ok she didn't really say this, but fuck she was gushing, Admin girls gets so happy over the little things)
---
OldOfficeLady: "Do you have a spare laptop?"
Me: "Er, why?"
OldOfficeLady: "We have a new person start tomorrow!"
Me: "....what."
OldOfficeLady: "Yea, can you set everything up for him?"
Me: "What's his name?"
OldOfficeLady: "Dunno, you can ask him tomorrow!"
---
*ring ring*
OldOfficeLady: "I have HumanBlob on the phone for you."
Me: "Ok thanks!"
*transfer*
HumanBlob: "Ya gay thunderbird, I've got bad news" (I had recently dyed my hair blonde, so that mad me a raging homo in his eyes).
Me: "I've got to tell CapsLockGirl that I can't give her a spare laptop I promised, she's going to cry, you can't have any bad news for me"
HumanBlob: "Why do you need to give her a spare?"
Me: "New guy starts tomorrow - so what's your bad news?"
HumanBlob: "I'm the airport, and I've missed my flight."
Me: "Oh....that sucks, but it's not really my prob-"
HumanBlob: "I missed it because my laptop was stolen at the airport when I left it on a chair and walked off without it."
Me: "......................................................................." (totally speechless)
HumanBlob: "They won't be able to access anything right? There's a password!"
Me: "................they can access pretty much everything."
HumanBlob: "Oh. So.....no spares?"
*twitch*
Now that he's started, and we're getting other people newer stuff, our laptop supply is running lower and lower. It's starting to get nasty, with people lying about things, betraying each other, and general asshole-ness.
There's other new faces involved, but I'll talk about them later. This shit should be in a Wagnerian Opera.
---
CapsLockGirl: "We need spare laptops! We have new people starting soon, and we have no spare computers! If something dies, we're screwed!" (everything is a potential drama to her).
Me: "Ok...wait, don't you have one? My register show that-"
CapsLockGirl: "Yea, but we're training a guy on it"
Me: "Oh...er...ok...we'll send one up!"
CapsLockGirl: "Yay! you may sample my vagina" (ok she didn't really say this, but fuck she was gushing, Admin girls gets so happy over the little things)
---
OldOfficeLady: "Do you have a spare laptop?"
Me: "Er, why?"
OldOfficeLady: "We have a new person start tomorrow!"
Me: "....what."
OldOfficeLady: "Yea, can you set everything up for him?"
Me: "What's his name?"
OldOfficeLady: "Dunno, you can ask him tomorrow!"
---
*ring ring*
OldOfficeLady: "I have HumanBlob on the phone for you."
Me: "Ok thanks!"
*transfer*
HumanBlob: "Ya gay thunderbird, I've got bad news" (I had recently dyed my hair blonde, so that mad me a raging homo in his eyes).
Me: "I've got to tell CapsLockGirl that I can't give her a spare laptop I promised, she's going to cry, you can't have any bad news for me"
HumanBlob: "Why do you need to give her a spare?"
Me: "New guy starts tomorrow - so what's your bad news?"
HumanBlob: "I'm the airport, and I've missed my flight."
Me: "Oh....that sucks, but it's not really my prob-"
HumanBlob: "I missed it because my laptop was stolen at the airport when I left it on a chair and walked off without it."
Me: "......................................................................." (totally speechless)
HumanBlob: "They won't be able to access anything right? There's a password!"
Me: "................they can access pretty much everything."
HumanBlob: "Oh. So.....no spares?"
*twitch*
*ring ring*
RandomBreasts88: "HELP MY LAPTOP WON'T BOOT!!"
Me: "....are you joking?"
RandomBreasts88: "NO HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!"
*cry*
*ring ring*
QLDOfficeLady: "Hi, we have a new manager starting next week, we need a laptop."
Me: "Yea I know...wait, QLD? Er....I thought he was starting in VIC!"
QLDOfficeLady: "Er, no, we're getting a new manager too, as well as one manager down there. So, spare laptop?"
*sob*
---
Cannot get any worse! Well, it can, but I try not to think of such things.
---
QLDOfficeLady: "Hi, we have a new manager starting next week, we need a laptop."
Me: "Yea I know...wait, QLD? Er....I thought he was starting in VIC!"
QLDOfficeLady: "Er, no, we're getting a new manager too, as well as one manager down there. So, spare laptop?"
*sob*
---
Cannot get any worse! Well, it can, but I try not to think of such things.
---
Epilogue:
AdelaideOfficeWorker: "I quit, see ya!"
Me: "GIVE ME YOUR LAPTOP NOW"
AdelaideOfficeWorker: "I quit, see ya!"
Me: "GIVE ME YOUR LAPTOP NOW"
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